Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)
Directed by Aleksander Bach
5.5/10 R
In what turns out to be another example of Hollywood’s knack for producing unwanted reboots, “Hitman: Agent 47” does very little to set itself apart of the inundation of terrible action movies released every month. With a script that’s fit for a paper shredder and a cast straight from the island of misfit toys (where has Zachary Quinto been?), this one never should have made it to the screen.
After the “Agent” program was defunded, the last surviving agents, including Agent 47 (Rupert Friend, “Homeland”), scattered. But when an ambitious member of “the Syndicate” finds a clue to the whereabouts of the program’s founder, Litvenko (Ciaran Hinds), they track him down in hopes of resurrecting the program. But 47 knows the danger that lies in the hands of anyone with the Agent formula. So he finds the founder’s daughter (Hannah Ware), and together they avoid being killed by members of the Syndicate (including Quinto) in a race to find Letvenko.
Rupert Friend was a smart choice to play the anonymous, emotionless Agent 47. But the role is designed to be forgettable. That’s because a character without emotion is hardly a character at all. Quinto is stiff, almost comically so. Since the last “Star Trek” installment two years ago, Quinto has been all but absent on the big screen. He’s out of practice, apparently. The story, written by action veteran Skip Woods (“The A-Team,” “A Good Day to Die Hard”), is bare bones and surface level, lacking any depth. It was a bore. So underwhelming was the script, and so routine was the movie in general, I nearly walked out of the theater around the half-way point. I felt as if there was nothing more that “Hitman: Agent 47” could give me that I couldn’t have written myself. I was right. Plus, aside from one scene of decent adrenaline, the movie lacked any real thrills at all. And without that, what’s even the point?
Cinema or Cine-meh 