Five movies that scraped the bottom of the barrel in 2013

365 days. 200+ nationally-released movies. I saw 40. These 5 were the worst, or so I thought.


5. Spring Breakers – This promising piece of crime-noir turns James Franco into a Scarface-loving composite of every drug and gun dealer we’ve ever seen on screen. When a few college girls need bailed out for underage drinking, Franco uses these troubled teens to pull off a few robberies. It sounds interesting, but it turned into what I had hoped it wouldn’t be – a party movie with little action or intrigue. I definitely didn’t mind when Franco got roasted about it later that night.


4. Despicable Me 2 – I’m sure I’m disappointing someone, but I just didn’t enjoy this animated sequel. Kristen Wiig’s voice doesn’t work as well as when we see her face. Steve Carrell doesn’t build much on his character, but only repeats a lot of the humor. The minions are the only characters worth watching, and they don’t even speak English. Besides them, it was just a weak story with weak jokes. I guess I’m not in the target audience, but still.


3. Homefront – Welcome back, Franco! In “Homefront,” Jason Statham’s fists and Kate Bosworth’s minor role are the only things worth watching. Franco manages to underact even in the high-pressure situations his character is put into, and his lover Winona Ryder overacts, screaming her head off for no reason. Acting has never been so bad.


2. The Hangover: Part III – They really should have stopped after the first one. The Wolf Pack is back in Las Vegas, getting into trouble again…this time with John Goodman. Why do they even hang out with each other anymore? The worst part – I’ve already forgotten almost everything about it.


1. The Last Stand – Predictable story, corny script, Ahnold giving the performance of a lifetime of bad performances. “The Last Stand” is everything you don’t want in a movie, plus Johnny Knoxville. Boo!

2 thoughts on “Five movies that scraped the bottom of the barrel in 2013

  1. Great points! I surprisingly haven’t seen any of these and I will probably keep it that way haha. I was also really disappointed by The Purge and Now You See Me last year, as I was really excited for both of them.

    1. I haven’t seen “The Purge,” but actually enjoyed “Now You See Me”! Different than I expected, but I thought it was great relative to most commercial success/blockbuster types.

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