Don’t stand for ‘The Last Stand’
by Logan Burd
The Last Stand (2013)
Directed by Kim Jee-Woon
“The Last Stand” starts off with a dud and hardly gets any better from there. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t sound smart enough to be a sheriff, but he plays one anyway. His little Arizona ghost town doesn’t have a border crossing, but a violent and determined gang of hardened criminals is building one in preparation of a well-known drug cartel’s escape into Mexico. It’s drugs, as usual. But can Ahnold and his scraggly group of five deputies (including Luis Guzman and Johnny Knoxville, apparently reprising his role in “The Ringer”) stop a well-prepared group of dozens of criminals? The movie wouldn’t have been made if they couldn’t.
Having a high-speed chase to the Mexican border with one sexagenarian small-town sheriff and his ill-prepared deputies as the last defense is a marginally original idea. It provides some cheap thrills with some exciting shootouts, but the plot is mangled by the appalling dialogue. The predictable one-liners before the bullet in the brain, the attempts at humor that fall way short…it’s sad, really. But you do get to see Arnold engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a man half his age. And that’s probably most of what the filmmakers cared about. Ahnold shooting big guns and throwing punches is cool. If you disagree, “The Last Stand” probably isn’t for you. You’ve been warned.
“The Last Stand” is now on Blu-ray and DVD.